Goodbye Mom

Caring Bridge Journal Entry — Mar 21, 2018

We sent Mom home today. She came to California to watch my nephews while my sister and her husband were on an anniversary getaway. Little did any of us realize her 6 day trip would last 6 weeks. We are so grateful she was here when we needed her but Dad misses her and I'm stable so it's time for her to return home.

Are we ready to do this without her? I think so.

Now, it's time to start getting out and trying to do "normal" things. To that end, I had lunch out with a friend today. It was good but exhausting. I took a nap when I got home.

My mind is a bit messy right now. What does "normal" mean anymore? I think it means going about my everyday tasks NOT wondering if today will bring another bleed. But that takes work. (And I mean WORK!)

Two months ago, I wasn't thinking about the frailty of my life. Now, it's in my face. I don't think that's a bad thing. None of us knows when death will come and it could be tomorrow for any of us. So, in a way, this is a privilege... to be aware of the preciousness of each day. To be forced to live in the moment, because that it is all I have. Honestly, it is all any of us has. Right now. This moment. We can't change the past. We can't control the future. All we can do is live this moment, right here, right now. And live it well. Make it count.

It’s a perspective-changer.