VIDEO: How Chronic Illness Affects Marriage

There’s a song Chris likes to play when he’s in a dancing-in-the-kitchen kind of mood. Every time he plays it, I feel like a million bucks.

I'm gonna love you forever, forever and ever, amen
As long as old men sit and talk about the weather
As long as old women sit and talk about old men

If you wonder how long I'll be faithful
I'll be happy to tell you again
I'm gonna love you forever and ever, forever and ever, amen

Standing in front of Pastor Doug on our wedding day, making a promise to Chris for all eternity, I never dreamed that our forever might only be a few years. I never imagined we would spend so many days together in a hospital. Never did I imagine I’d say goodbye to him, twice. But that’s the path our story took. The goodbyes were hard but also very, very sweet.

In a crisis, things become very clear. For me, when I was saying goodbye to Chris in the ER, in the midst of the chaos I was thinking that marrying Chris was the best decision I ever made. A blessing beyond what my girlish dreams imagined. Chris is not only my best friend, but he’s also the best person to sit by my side and advocate for me with medical personnel. He’s a Ninja Caregiver if there ever was one.

But, medical crises or any trauma for that matter, do take their toll on a marriage. It is my belief, that those crisis either strengthen a marriage or weaken one. And perhaps that’s the point. God wants a husband and wife to be woven so tightly together that they become stronger together than they are separately. (Ecclesiates 4:9)

I watched a gardening show once about planting trees. The gardener told us to remove the support stakes after one year. The tree needed to be tossed about by the wind without support because the tossing caused it to grow layers in the trunk. We need to let the wind toss the young tree about so that the tree could grow stronger. Perhaps, a crisis is a bit of resistance on a marriage, growing our marriage muscles and making us stronger. That’s certainly what happened in our marriage.

And in the marriage of Doug and Angela Vinson as well.

Today, I am giving you TWO video conversations on the topic of marriage and chronic illness. Bring tissue…

I’ve seen God provide for me and mom and my brother when we had nothing, no home and no money. God provided food and clothes and friends. He provided. So, this experience where I was out of work for three years, that’s where I drew from. … I constantly went back to that, reminding myself: I’ve seen God provide; He will provide; I can trust that He will provide. - Doug Vinson

Doug and Angela Vinson share what their marriage endured when Doug had a freak accident that led to an amputation. Their love and faith comes shining through.

We chat about:

releasing fears to God as your spouse heals slowly and returns to independence
how to talk with your children about trauma
what to celebrate
trusting God's faithfulness in the moment by remember past faithfulness

One of the most stressful things for me was being separated from you. … Because we do life together and we’ve done it that way for decades. So, you know, I can’t talk it through with you, I can’t ask you your opinion, or just be with you when you’re the one who’s undergoing the procedure. - Chris O’Meara

Next up, a conversation with Chris.

We chat about: