Last week, I found myself in a circle of women I met as a new mom twenty years ago. We were reminiscing about the Playgroup Days when we would get together every Friday with our babies, toddlers and preschoolers. The bonds we made during those years have stood the test of time.

I heard a new story while we stood chatting, the story of the day Caryn met Cori, one with two babies (at the time) and one with three. Cori, the one with three, entered the room half-dressed but somehow still looking good, carrying a newborn in a carseat, and laughing about the craziness of her life. Caryn looked at Cori and thought, “Where have you been and why have we not met?” BAM a best friendship was born.  

That’s how it was in those days.  Friendships were formed over goldfish crackers and spit-up stained t-shirts.  Every one of us felt exhausted but nothing could keep us from our Friday Playgroup.  When I think about the miracle of that group and how tightly God knit us together, I recognize that those friendships are pure grace.  

After hugs goodbye, I drove home praying, “Thank you God for Fridays.”  Silly, I know, but I believe those friendships are special because of Fridays. Because Fridays became days of grace and hope.  

Days of Grace

Motherhood is humbling.  There’s so much to learn and mess up along the way.  As a new mom, I was bombarded with messages about the perfect formulas, the perfect sleep routines, the perfect baby carrier, etc.  I was overwhelmed!  

Then I had back surgery when my first born was only four months old.  Suddenly, no matter how perfectly I wanted to do things, I couldn’t.  I couldn’t even carry my son for months!  I felt like I was failing before I had barely gotten started. 

Nowhere else do I have as much self-doubt as I do in motherhood.  Moms need to be reminded that they are doing good work and doing it well. 

Fridays were this precious space where we could be honest about our failures as moms.  There were no expectations of perfection.  No one had the perfect home or the perfect hair… or the perfect CHILD.  There is something seriously comforting about being with other imperfect moms.  

When a mom showed up to playgroup with everything but the diaper bag and had to borrow diapers from another mom, it was a beautiful moment.  It gave me hope that I could do this mom-thing, even if I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.  Maybe that’s because another mom’s “oops” gave me permission to have my own oops moments.  But I think it’s more than that.  I think it reminded me that I didn’t have to mom alone.  I had these amazing women to help me when I stumbled.  If I forgot my diaper bag, another mom had my back.  

Moms need other moms.  And God in his wisdom understands that.

Sometimes, I feel guilty about how blessed I am with amazing girlfriends. That’s when I remind myself that God said it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone (Gen 2:18).  Listen, Adam lived in PERFECT conditions and still, God decided Adam needed something more, a companion.  Now let’s be honest, a mom’s life is far from the lush garden of Eden.  Am I right?  So it makes sense that moms need companions.  NEED.  Why?  Why is friendship and community a necessity?  I think it’s because we need each other to hold onto hope. 

Days of Hope

The thing about motherhood is it doesn’t happen in a vacuum.  Moms aren’t able to ONLY be moms.  We are also wives, daughters, and friends.  Maybe we are also sisters, employees, and ministry leaders.  Let’s not forget we are also home managers, sports directors and nutritionists. (I’m feeling exhausted.)

We wear all these hats because of love.  We love our children, our spouses and our friends.  We serve them well, because we love them deeply.  But while we are busy loving others, we can also lose hope for ourselves.

1 Cor 13:7 says, “Love hopes all things.”  That can be a hard thing to believe deep down in your soul when:

• Your colicky baby hasn’t slept in 185 days.

• Your insurance refuses to pay for the extra anesthesia you needed to deliver that 9lb darling.

• Your kindergartner still misses the potty and you wonder if you’ll be cleaning pee off the floor for the next decade.

• Your teenager just wrecked the car, or earned five F’s, or doesn’t have a single friend at school…

• Your parents have health issues and need your support at the same time your teenager needs your help for Homecoming, SATs, and college applications.

• You wonder if you are the only one feeling stretched to your limit and forgotten by God.

Listen friend, you are not alone.  This is what community is for.  When you have lost the ability to hope all things, you need friends to remind you that God still sees you, still loves you, and is still for you.

That’s what Fridays were for.  While the kids pedaled tricycles and ate PB&J’s, we moms filled each other with hope.  

Hope came in the littles things like carpool lines. Jennifer had the oldest child in our group.  Her son entered kindergarten first and we all watched in awe as she figured out how to drive through the pickup line with a one-year old sleeping in the carseat.  Her success filled us with hope.  She figured it out which meant we could too.

And hope came in big things, like a new baby.  We cried through years of infertility with Wendy.  When she finally joined our Fridays with a red-headed baby girl, we rejoiced with her, sharing tears of joy.  God answered our prayers for Wendy, He would be faithful to answer our prayers too.  

There is always hope because God is always at work.  Recalling God’s faithfulness is powerful when you am struggling to hope all things.

Psalm 86:5 says,

“But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.”

ABOUNDING in STEADFAST love and faithfulness. Please remember: God’s not going to run out of love and faithfulness for you, even, or especially, when you have run out of hope.

Whether it’s motherhood, chronic illness, or some other challenge that threatens to deplete your hope, will you trust that hope can still be found?   

Trust God’s Wisdom

In his wisdom, God made you for community so that when you have lost hope, others can hold onto hope for you. God loves you deeply and has a community for you.  If you need help believing that, ask him to show you.  Then look for his answer.

You can also email me or join my group of friends.  There’s always room for more.

I love sending my subscribers special goodies and encouragement straight to their inbox. One of those goodies is a list of 12 Verses to Help You Endure. I’d love to send it to you.