Nicole O'Meara

View Original

How to Start a Habit of Choosing Joy Using a Joy Basket

In my last post, I shared ways to spark joy when you don’t feel joyful. Today, I’m giving you one more practical tool that I think will help put your intention into practice: the Joy Basket.

Let’s get real here.  Life with chronic illness often involves time in bed, on the couch, in a wheelchair, or some other position that limits our movement and our ability to engage in some activities that help us choose joy.  Seasons of hard come and go, taking our emotions on rollercoaster rides that also make it a challenge to choose joy.  

Some of the ideas on my Practical Joy Hacks chart won’t resonate with you.  Some may not be options in certain seasons.  That’s ok because no matter what season of life you are in and what limitations your body has placed on you, there are things that will help you choose joy.  That’s what I want you to focus on.  Don’t focus on what you can’t do or enjoy right now, focus on what you can!

Life is full of hard stuff and pain is a master at stealing our focus.  To choose joy when we don’t feel joyful, means we are going to intentionally focus on something better.  We are going to set our minds on things above.  In other words, we are going to make a new habit of choosing joy. 

photo by: Arek Adeoye on Unsplash

Creating a New Habit 

Last year, I wanted to create a new habit of walking daily. 

First, I bought new walking shoes because my old ones literally had a hole in the toes.  I found really comfy shoes and I intentionally chose ones that I felt were cute.  Cute matters. 

Next, I put my walking shoes next to my sink each night.  That way, they were one of the first things I saw each morning.  They were easily accessible and they were the obvious choice for footwear when I got dressed.  Putting them on made it feel 50% more likely that I would choose a walk that day.

Lastly, I allowed myself to really enjoy each walk.  I didn’t put earbuds in and listen to a podcast (which would have been my go-to choice if I weren’t being intentional in starting a new habit).  Instead, I listened to the sounds of nature and said Hi to other walkers I passed. I brought along my cheerful dog and enjoyed watching him enjoy our walk.  When I got home, I sat down on the porch and simply enjoyed the way my body felt, the sweat on my skin, the muscles that no longer pinched, and the way my lungs felt bigger.

WIthout realizing it, I had followed the four steps to habit change that the Habit Gurus teach

  • Make it obvious

  • Make it attractive

  • Make it easy

  • Make it satisfying (*https://jamesclear.com/three-steps-habit-change)

In my own way, I made choosing a walk…

  • obvious by starting with new walking shoes.

  • attractive by choosing shoes that were cute.  

  • easy by placing my shoes in a position where they were the easiest choice and putting them on was a no-brainer.

  • While the walk itself was satisfying, I also made choosing a walk satisfying by giving myself space after the fact to fully enjoy the effects my choice.

photo by: Nataliya Melnychuk on Unsplash

Make A Joy Basket

Now, we can do the same thing to start a new habit of choosing joy. Here’s my little twist. I want to do this using a Joy Basket. A Joy Basket is simply a cute place to gather items that will help spark joy when you don’t feel joyful, making choosing joy as obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying as possible.

So, let’s walk through the Four Steps to Create a new Habit of Choosing Joy Using a Joy Basket.

  1. Make it Obvious

    I want you to think about things that spark joy in you.  List them out if it helps.  Or use my Practical Joy Hacks chart to get you started.  To make joy an obvious choice, you’ll want to gather those things up so you don’t have to do the hard work of thinking “What will bring me joy right now?” and go find those things every time you want to choose joy.  Ugh, nobody has time and energy for that when you aren’t feeling joyful!

  2. Make it Attractive

    To make your Joy Basket, you’ll need a basket, bin, box, bag or some other container for your joy items.  But don’t choose just any container.  Make it attractive.  This is personal.  What do you prefer?  Do you like wicker baskets or do you prefer modern acrylic bins?  Choose a container that is attractive to you and fill it with the items you gathered up in Step 1. Bonus: if it has handles or is easy to carry, you can move your joy basket when needed; for example, you could take it with you to an infusion appointment.

  3. Make it Easy

    The joy choice won’t be easy when you are in pain so you need to make it easy.  This means, put your Joy Basket in a place where it is an easy choice to go to it and grab an item out of it.  That place might be at your bedside, on the kitchen counter, or next to the sofa.  Or it could be attached to your wheelchair.  Or maybe you make a mini version of your Joy Basket and keep them in two places.  Hah.  Now you’re getting the idea.

  4. Make it Satisfying

    This has two parts. First, the items in your Joy Basket need to include a variety of things and some of them need to be very satisfying, like chocolate or fuzzy socks. Second, be mindful that the act of choosing joy is itself satisfying.  Joy is the reward.  So, intentionally notice the satisfaction of joy you feel after you’ve gone to your Joy Basket.  Share your joy with a friend.  Write about it in your journal.  Relish in the deliciousness of joy.

Joy Challenge

Here’s my challenge to you.  This week, create your own Joy Basket, then leave a comment below or send me an email about it.  Describe it to me or, better yet, send me a photo.

You got this!